One significant Alzheimer's symptom is impaired impulse control. Thus your shy mother may start propositioning strangers, or your reserved father may take his clothes off in public. Such behaviors can be painful and embarrassing for loved ones, but there are several effective methods for handling them with a minimum of fuss.
Types of Sexual Acting Out Common in Alzheimer's Disease
Common types of sexual acting out include:
- taking off clothes in public
- masturbating in public
- making off-color comments to others
- touching others in a way that is not appropriate to the relationship
Why Sexually Inappropriate Behaviors Occur in People with Alzheimer's Dementia
Sexuality is a normal part of life. Your loved one does not stop being a sexual being just because she develops Alzheimer's. What does change is that the frontal lobe of your loved one's brain--the part of the brain that handles impulse control--may be damaged by the disease process, so your loved one is no longer able to stop herself from saying or doing things that are inappropriate.
Another reason that sexual acting out occurs is that the person with Alzheimer's dementia may confuse a stranger or another family member with a past sexual partner. An elderly man with dementia, for instance, may confuse his adult daughter with his deceased wife and attempt to kiss her or touch her sexually.
Finally, behavior that is perceived as sexual may not be sexual at all. A woman who suddenly starts removing her clothes in public may simply be too warm, or she may need to relieve herself.
What to Do If Your Loved One with Alzheimer's Disease Acts Out Sexually
First, try to rein in your panic and embarrassment. The more upset you become, the more upset your loved one will become.
Don't shame or scold your loved one. Say in a matter-of-fact way, "Don't touch my breast" or "Leave that woman alone." If your loved one is taking off his clothes, ask direct questions to try to find out the reason. "Do you have to go to the bathroom?" or "Dad, are you too hot?"
Provide non-sexual touch. Your loved one may be experiencing skin hunger--the need to be touched by another human being--and expressing it in the only way she knows how. Hold her hand, massage her back and shoulders, or give her a hug.
Offer redirection. Try to get your loved one interested in something else. Get him something to eat or drink, pop a favorite movie into the DVD player, point out something interesting going on in the area, or bring up a topic of conversation you know he enjoys. ("Tell me again about how you met Grandma.")
Allow privacy. If your loved one begins to masturbate in public, guide her to a private place such as a bathroom where she can attend to her sexual needs away from prying eyes.
If necessary, provide a simple explanation to onlookers. ("Please excuse my father. He has dementia.")
Being an Alzheimer's caregiver is hard work on the best of days. It can be even more challenging when your loved one acts out in a sexual way. Try to stay calm, figure out why the behavior is happening, and address it with patience and compassion. Your loved one may not be able to thank you in words, but know that at some level your empathy is appreciated.
Source:
Alzheimer's Association Sexuality Topic Sheet
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